So This Is How The World Will End: by Rick Castro 6/3/2020
I’m afraid to move forward. With all this uncertainty and chaos in the world, I’m afraid to make concrete decisions. The fear is immense, everything feels so exaggerated. Where do I begin?… I’m too old to begin again!…..
I got the fucking test, I’m negative. This should give me hope and clarity, but it does not. Why doesn't it? The decision to leave LA for Bee’s cabin felt like the right decision at the time. Was it, or am I just fleeing from my life in LA? The solace and peace I’ve found in the high desert for the last couple of months has been instantly shattered by an aggressive bible-thumper.
I’m afraid of white Christians. They think they own everything, because in fact they do. Try telling a group of people that you don’t trust Christians, and you will be vilified. They’ll call you anti-christ, as if there’s only two sides- for or against.
“Your either with us or against us.” Where have we heard that tired statement over and over? Oh yah, from, (rich) white Christians.
Try telling a group of Christians you don’t believe as they do. They’ll call you a devil worshiper, even though Christians are the only people that believe in the devil in the 21st century.
Amerikkka is so fucked up and backwards, how are THEY, ( not we) ever gonna get it together? They've had 244 years. How much more time do they need?
Our country is breaking apart at the seams, my family is collapsing before my very eyes. Who can I trust in anymore? It’s embarrassing. Will there be life after plague? Will I have a home and family after plague? The cult Christian husband is toxic, he’s the most toxic person I’ve met in a very longtime. If anyone is going to call anyone evil, that would be him. Things are never what they appear. A catholic priest once said to me,
“Everything that is supposed to be is not.
Everything that’s supposed to be correct is false.”
Even before he said this to me, I already knew. People don’t take the time to figure out who someone really is. They just go by surface. If they’re attractive and say the right things, they’re good, If they look different and say what’s in their heart, no matter how unpopular, they’re bad.
Many years ago I read the poem, (not sure if it’s considered a poem) by Charles Bukowski. I’ve always liked his writings because he didn’t mince words. He, told it like it is. An old white alcoholic man told it like it is. All black people tell it like it is, always, but nobody listens to them. They will listen to an old white alcoholic before they listen to black people. They will listen to a toxic by-polar old white Christian, before they listen to a middle-age gay latino. This is how the world is set up. Be afraid, be very afraid.
So this is how the world will end.
copyright- rick castro- 6/2020
The Genius of the Crowd: by Charles Bukowski.
There is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average Human being to supply any given army on any given day
And the best at murder are those who preach against it
And the best at hate are those who preach love
And the best at war finally are those who preach peace
Those who preach god, need god
Those who preach peace do not have peace
Those who preach peace do not have love
Beware the preachers
Beware the knowers
Beware those who are always reading books
Beware those who either detest poverty
Or are proud of it
Beware those quick to praise
For they need praise in return
Beware those who are quick to censor
They are afraid of what they do not know
Beware those who seek constant crowds for
They are nothing alone
Beware the average man the average woman
Beware their love, their love is average Seeks average
But there is genius in their hatred
There is enough genius in their hatred to kill you
To kill anybody
Not wanting solitude
Not understanding solitude
They will attempt to destroy anything
That differs from their own
Not being able to create art
They will not understand art
They will consider their failure as creators
Only as a failure of the world
Not being able to love fully
They will believe your love incomplete
And then they will hate you
And their hatred will be perfect
Like a shining diamond
Like a knife
Like a mountain
Like a tiger
Like hemlock
Their finest art
copyright charles bukowski 1980
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