So This Is How The World Will End: by Rick Castro 4/9/2020

Even though I didn’t sleep much last night, I had a very good nights sleep. 
Is it possible to have both? If so, that’s what I had.

This morning I found my bluejay sleeping in his fave elm tree. I said, “good morning pretty,” he woke and puffed his little chest for me… so comforting. Then when I walked into the entry way of Bee’s cabin there was a spider on the wall. In this cold!  I love spiders! 
They will help rid me of the Amityville Horror fly infestation.

I placed a huge log in the fireplace… Let me backtrack, the first time I came to Bee’s cabin, OMO, (on my own) last October. It was already chilly willy, so had to gather wood for the fire. This is before Lure, (the infrared heater) so fireplace & potbelly, (the stove, not me tummy) was my only heat source. Since my parents hadn't been up here for over 10 years, there was a good supply of cut and stacked firewood. Al & Bee thought of everything. The bigger logs are hard to deal with, they’re the ones that create the back smoke. 
I had a huge problem the first time, I spent half the night outside in 23 degrees! I had so much smoke inhalation, I almost went to the hospital. This time, I lit me fire with small kindling and outdated newspapers, then once it was raging, I gingerly place the grand log on top. Success! I will have a fire for the rest of the afternoon.

Oh penis! I spoke too soon, the fuckin fireplace just back smoked! … The city boy in me doesn’t always cut it. Now I have to open all the windows to 28 degrees. There goes all me heat. Ok, I got it under control.. now me fire is flaming again… every now and again 
I go outside for a stroll around Bee’s cabin. The lot is 2 1/2 acres, so a nice amount of nature; bunnies, squirrelys. quails, birdies, and there’s me handsome bluejay waiting for me. 
Seems like he’s having a territorial battle with a murder of crows.. Beauty Bluejay always wins. He knows how to hold his ground.

Spent the afternoon applying for grants and artist loans. This is something I’ve never done before. Because of my subject matter, fetish, BDSM, homocentric, I assumed it would be a waste of time. Now with the popularity of Tom of Finland and institutions like Warhol Foundation, Mapplethorpe Foundation etc, I’m hoping things have changed. When I say I’m in dire straits, I mean it... 
I have all the comfort and necessaries here at Bee’s cabin, (for now) but have no idea what I will come back to in LA.. May is not looking pretty.

Wowow- coyotes are howling in unison. They sound like crying babies.

So this is how the world will end.
copyright-rick castro- 4/2020

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