So This Is How The World Will End: by Rick Castro 5/12/2020
Everything is uncertain.
For you and I everything is uncertain. Now more so in the harsh 2020 than ever before, at least in our lifetime.
For you and I everything is uncertain. Now more so in the harsh 2020 than ever before, at least in our lifetime.
My parents went through hard times; the depression, WWII, tuberculosis, polio, poverty. They lived through it all, but for me this is the challenge of my lifetime. I did live through the AIDS plague. That was intense, definitely changed my life and way of thinking. I was in my mid twenties when that plague hit. I lost many good friends and my boyfriend, Joey Napierkowski.
It feels uncomfortable to write his name, the first time I’ve done so, acknowledging to the world that I lost the love of my life to a plague. He didn’t succumb until after we’d broken up. It was 1991, he called from Sharon, Pennsylvania, (his mother’s residency) in a drunken haze, and asked if I would visit him one more time. We were not together for at least four years, he had a boyfriend, (who gave him AIDS) it would be hard for me to deal with everything a visit like that would entail. I knew I wasn’t strong enough, so I said no. I made the right decision. It was up to his family and lover to provide comfort, not I. My time was over. Less than a year later the first AZT cocktail was approved by the CDC. Athough an imperfect treatment, many people survived after this time. If he could've held out just a few months more, the love of my life would still be alive.
As you all have probably heard, they’ve extended the quarantine, (at least in CA) for two more months. This isn’t a surprise, only a confirmation on what I need to do to make my life manageable. With so much uncertainty this is a real task. Getting people to pay me is a real task, (are you listening people that owe me $?) to chase $$ during a plague is not my idea of a good time. Navigating the system to apply for aid is an ordeal. Everything is glitchy, not working, incorrect info, or plain old denied. I have so many questions, but the big question is; in a country that touts itself as being the riches, most powerful, most free and filled with opportunity in the world, why are all the systems floundering?
My plan is to go back to LA on Monday to visit me mum Bee on her 97th birthday, and also bring them whatever they may need. Today I feel uncertain about this. Am I still contagious? I don’t know 100% if I even had the plague, although my symptoms sure felt like nothing I’ve experienced before. I haven’t heard from me bro for over four months, which is not unusual. The other day he sent me an email with the already established greeting, “Al oha”, (his name is Al, he lives in Hawaii) and a link on where to get tested in San Bernardino County. This is his veiled way of saying, don’t even think about visiting our, MY parents until you’re clean. I tried to get tested back in March. I wrote about that ordeal- HERE-. I did go online to find a testing center today and found out you have to prove you’re a resident of San Bernadino County, which I’m not. Maybe I’ll just do Facebook video with Bee to be completely on the safe side… I’m not sure… I’ll decide in a few days. Once again me bro is successful at planting doubt in my head. He's done this my entire life.
There was a loud buzzing noise coming from the window. At first I thought the Amityville horror fly infestation was back, (wrote about that HERE-) then realized it was a bee. I love bees, I hate flies. I don’t wanna swat a bee… how can I get it out… somehow I’m able to open the front door and coxes her out… it worked! The bee has left Bee’s cabin! So I’m not totally at a loss on what to do in order to save…. something.
So this is how the world will end.
copyright- rick castro- 5/2020
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