THREE MEN & A BABY: A STORY BY RICK CASTRO

SOMETIME DURING 1995 I WAS HAVING DINNER WITH MY THEN BOYFRIEND "DAN."

WE WERE DINING AT EL COMPADRE RESTAURANT ON SUNSET BOULEVARD.

 A MEXICAN PLACE IN HOLLYWOOD THAT'S BEEN THERE FOR MANY YEARS. 

I THINK SINCE 1975. 
THE FOOD WAS JUST OK, AS ARE MOST MEXICAN RESTAURANTS  IN THE STATES.  SOME PLACES GET IT BETTER THAN OTHERS, BUT FOR THE MOST PART
 THEY'RE ALL CLICHE.

THE DRINKS WERE GOOD. YOU CAN'T GO WRONG WITH A STRONG MARGARITA. 

WE WERE THERE TO DRINK.

WE WERE SEATED ACROSS FROM WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS A HOT DADDY COUPLE. TWO MEN IN THEIR- I'M GUESSING-40'S, WITH A LITTLE GIRL WHO I'M SURE WAS THEIR DAUGHTER.

DAN AND I WERE MESMERIZED. 
BACK IN THE 90'S IT WAS RARE TO SEE A GAY MALE COUPLE WITH A CHILD. OCCASIONALLY YOU'D SEE A LESBIAN COUPLE WITH KIDS, 
BUT HARDLY EVER A MALE COUPLE.

THE DAUGHTER WAS ABOUT 4 YEARS OLD. SHE WAS A PEACH OF A DOLL. 
THEY HAD HER IN A SATIN BLUE DRESS WITH PUFFY SLEEVES.
 FULL SKIRT WITH PETTICOAT UNDERNEATH. SHE HAD A MATCHING BOW IN HER HAIR, STYLED IN RINGLETS. BLACK PATENT LEATHER MARY JANE'S AND
 LITTLE WHITE SOCKS WITH LACE TRIM.

PICTURE IF YOU WILL MY DEAR READERS A CAUCASIAN QUINCEANERA. 

SHE HAD THE PRETTIEST EYES, SWEETEST SMILE AND LITTLE BUTTON NOSE.
 SHE WAS HAVING THE TIME OF HER LIFE. 
WHO WOULDN'T WITH THESE TWO AS FATHERS!

THE GUYS WERE BOTH HAVING MARGARITAS. THE LITTLE GIRL WAS STANDING 
IN-  BETWEEN THEM SIPPING ON A "SHIRLEY TEMPLE". 
THEY WERE ALL LAUGHING AND BEING ADORABLE.

THE ONE DADDY WAS WEARING A FITTED BUTTON DOWN SHORT-SLEEVE SHIRT WITH A TIE. HIS HAIR WAS SALT & PEPPER, TRIMMED BEARD AND MUSTACHE. HIS BODY WAS RIPPED. HIS BICEPS WERE PRACTICALLY BURSTING OUT OF HIS SHORT SLEEVED SHIRT. 
HIS CHEST... OH HIS CHEST.
 I THINK I COULD SEE HIS NIPPLES FROM MY TABLE.  THIS GUY WAS H-O-T! 
THE OTHER DADDY WAS EVEN HOTTER! 
THEY WERE BOTH TIPSY.

DAN AND I WERE WATCHING THEIR EVERY MOVE, EAVES DROPPING ON THEIR CONVERSATION. WE WERE ALSO MORE THAN A BIT TIPSY.

AT ONE POINT THE LITTLE GIRL EXCLAIMED IN THE CUTEST DOLLIE VOICE, " DADDIES I HAVE TO GO."  
THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER. WE LOOKED AT EACH OTHER.. 
HOW WERE THEY GOING TO PULL THIS OFF? THE HOTTER OF THE TWO, 
(AND THAT'S A HARD CALL TO MAKE) SAID, "I'LL TAKE HER." 
 HE PICKED HIS DAUGHTER UP AND CARRIED HER TOWARDS THE RESTROOMS. 

THIS WAS MY CHANCE... "DAN, I SHOUTED, I HAVE TO PEE." 
HE GAVE ME A KNOWING SMILE.

 I  HURRIED INTO THE  EL COMPADRE LOBBY. 
THIS IS WHERE THE RESTROOMS WERE LOCATED. RIGHT NEXT TO THE ENTRANCE. JUST AT THAT EXACT MOMENT, IN WALKED THE YOUNG ACTORS LUKAS HAAS
AND JOAQUIN PHOENIX. 
JOAQUIN HAD JUST FINISHED- TO DIE FOR WITH GUS VAN SANT, SO HIS CAREER WAS RED HOT.  ABOUT A YEAR AGO HE LOST HIS BROTHER RIVER, WHO OD'ED BEFORE HIS VERY EYES, SO I WOULD THINK HE WAS STILL IN A RAW STATE.

 LUKAS WAS LESS KNOWN AT THE TIME, BUT I  STILL RECOGNIZED HIM. 

THEY WERE BOTH VERY DRUNK. 

LUKAS WAS CUTE AS A BUTTON. JOAQUIN WAS DARK & SEXY.

JOAQUIN DIDN'T NOTICE ME, BUT LUKAS DID. 

I COULDN'T DECIDE IF IT WAS A -HEY YOU COOL, OR- HEY YOU A HOMO
KIND-OF-A-LOOK.  IT WAS HARD TO TELL, BUT HE DEFINITELY NOTICED ME. 

HE NOTICED ME CHECKING OUT JOAQUIN.

JOAQUIN SAID TO LUKAS, " I GOTTA TAKE A PISS."
 HE WALKED INTO THE MEN'S ROOM. 

I HAD HIT THE JACKPOT- A HOT DADDY AND JOAQUN PHOENIX IN THE SAME TOILET!

I WAS WONDERING HOW THE HOT DADDY WAS GOING TO NAVIGATE A LITTLE GIRL IN A PUBLIC MEN'S RESTROOM?  I MADE A BEELINE FOR THE MEN'S ROOM.
 LUKAS HAAS  SAT ON THE LOBBY BENCH. HE KINDA GRIMICED.

I WALKED, (RAN) INSIDE TO FIND JOAQUIN AT THE URINAL PISSING LIKE A RACE HORSE, SINGING INCOHERENTLY TO HIMSELF. 

THERE WAS ONLY ONE URINAL SO I COULDN'T  STAND NEXT TO HIM, UNFORTUNATELY.

THE HOT DADDY & HIS DAUGHTER WERE NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. 
PERHAPS THEY WENT TO THE WOMEN'S RESTROOM?

SUDDENLY THE STALL DOOR OPENED AND OUT WALKS THE HOT DAD HOLDING THE HAND OF HIS DAUGHTER MOTIONING HER TO THE SINK.
 "LET'S WASH OUR HANDS HONEY."

AT THE EXACT SAME TIME JOAQUIN PHOENIX FINISHES UP, SHAKES HIS WILLY 
AND TURNS AROUND, JEANS UNZIPPED.
 IN HIS DRUNKEN STUPOR HE DIDN'T REALIZE ANYONE WAS THERE.

ALL AT ONCE, THE HOT DADDY, THE LITTLE GIRL AND I GOT A DOCTOR'S VIEW OF JOAQUIN PHOENIX'S- MAY I SAY- VERY LONG SCHLONG. WITH HIS HAND STILL SHAKING HIS DICK-  JOAQUIN FIRST LOOKING AT ME, THEN THE HOT DADDY,  THEN TO HIS HORROR- THE LITTLE GIRL.
 HE SAID, "OH..... I'M SORRY, "AND PUT HIS MONSTER BACK INTO ITS CAGE.

I WAS GRINING FROM EAR TO EAR. THE HOT DADDY  POLITELY SMILED.
 THE LITTLE GIRL HAD THE PERFECT NON-REACTION. 
AFTER ALL SHE LIVED WITH TWO MEN.

JOAQUIN PHOENIX STUMBLED OUT INTO THE ARMS OF LUKAS HAAS.
 THE HOT DAD & CUTIE DAUGHTER WENT BACK TO JOIN THEIR OTHER HOT DADDY.

I WAS LEFT ALONE AT THE URINAL STILL GRINNING

I COULDN'T WAIT TO GET BACK TO THE TABLE AND TELL DAN.

RICK CASTRO- COPYRIGHT- MAY 2017