PLEASE JOIN US IN CELEBRATING
MORRISSEY'S UNHAPPY BIRTHDAY~
TODAY~ MAY 22ND~ 5PM
TEA & CAKE WILL BE SERVED
$5 COVER
“Age shouldn’t affect you. You’re either marvelous or you’re boring, regardless of your age,”
Here’s a list of famous faces who WON’T be raising a glass on Morrissey's 56th birthday.
1. The Queen
“Her very Lowness with her head in a sling, I’m truly sorry but it sounds like a wonderful thing”.
2. The Middletons
" Kate is an “airhead” who “became ‘royal’ simply by answering the telephone at the right time”, while her sister Pippa is branded a “thickwit” in a scathing attack on her hunting habits.
3. Prince Charles
“I wish that Prince Charles had been shot. I think it would have made the world a more interesting place”.
“Relieve Britain of your abysmal family and please, I beg of you, quietly resign”.
4. Beyonce
“The rhino is now more or less extinct, and it’s not because of global warming or shrinking habitats. It’s because of Beyonce’s handbags.”
5. Bob Geldof
“Bob Geldof is a nauseating character”. He called Band Aid “the most self-righteous platform ever in the history of popular music,” and called the single Do They Know it’s Christmas “an awful record, considering the mass of talent involved”.
6. Michael Buble
“The fire in the belly is essential, otherwise you become Michael Bublé — famous and meaningless”. Ouch.
7. Madonna
“Madonna reinforces everything absurd and offensive. Desperate womanhood. Madonna is closer to organised prostitution than anything else.”
8. Kylie Minogue
“ i am absolutely thrilled” to see the singer pick up an OBE for her services to music, “I’m sure you’ll agree, it was completely deserved”.
9. Sir Elton John
“Elton John is pushing his face in all the time, and telling us about his private life. Nobody’s interested, he’s incredibly rich, he should just go away, and he’s just hoisting his problems onto everybody and working them out publicly and…I’ve said enough.”
10. David Cameron
“David Cameron hunts and shoots and kills stags – apparently for pleasure. It was not for such people that either Meat Is Murder or The Queen Is Dead were recorded; in fact, they were made as a reaction against such violence.”
11. Bryan Ferry
”I apologise very deeply for my support over the years for the group Roxy Music. I had no idea [about] their singer.”
12. David and Victoria Beckham
“I’d… have the Peckhams (Beckhams) dragged to the edge of the village and flogged because they are insufferable to anyone of intelligence, and they actively chase the paparazzi.” Lovely.
13. Lady Gaga
14. Jamie Oliver
“If Jamie ‘Orrible is so certain that flesh-food is tasty then why doesn’t he stick one of his children in a microwave?
15. Robert Smith
"Robert Smith is “a whingebag”.
16. Richard Madeley
“He referred to me as an ‘insufferable puffed-up prat’. This is a bit rich coming from a man who actually married his own mother.”
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