It has hit me tonight, it has finally pierced my murky american veil of aloofness that the world right now in many places and in many aspects is very, very, very troubled. Perhaps for the first time in my life at age 28 I am able to consciously be aware of the various plights of other nations, perhaps the severity, the shock and absurdity of the state of the world right now is so extreme that I can no longer accept the bohemian lie , the romantic fiction I create for myself as an artist and creative because the security of that fiction is a falsehood I can no longer bear to uphold for my own existential reasons.
Though ideologically it has come across my mind I truthfully have never had the urge to pursue humanitarian work. I had always hoped in some skewed petit bourgeoise way to one day have a charity of my own or to be successful enough that the needs of my own family could be met and then eclipsed by a generosity that would flow through me as a manifestation of all the good I had achieved for myself.
Today I feel vain, I feel vain knowing that those who are seeking to protect the rain forests which will inevitably have a final hand in the longevity of human life are being killed by armed militants hired by local governments or much worse indirectly funded by corporations for logging. My heart ache's for all the children globally who know only a life of war, my mind is still for those who cannot love whom they want within their sex or outside of it, the list is innumerable and you could get into endless debates about which is more important, urgent or severe than the other.
How do I handle this vanity, my life cannot transform overnight to reflect what I wish I could do to aid to really be of aid in times like this, but I do have my little platform, my little voice in a sea of more intelligible voices, even if it was created at first out of a need to be seen, visible, heard, superficially famous, even if my popularity wains and it recedes with time I will still have this space to write to you and to say to you, now more than ever the world needs our compassion, now more than ever we must not live under veils of western aloofness, now more than ever we must choose to be
AWAKE
repost courtesy~ mykki blanco~ nyc/antebellum correspodent
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