ANTEBELLUM PREDICTIONS FOR 2010

for 2010

antebellum predicts

* marijuana will become legal. it will be taxed higher than cigarettes.



* oprah will come out of the closet, and/or run for office.

* gayle king will have an affair with steadman

* gay marriage will become legal in kansas. the state will use the phrase- "freinds of Dorothy," as their new tagline.

* rachel maddow will have a sex change. no one will notice.

* chasity bono will change back to a woman. no one will notice.

* ellen will have a sex change. it will boost her ratings

* lady gaga will have an S&M affair with a woman. she will film it and use the footage for her next #1 single.



* spidey, (heidi & spencer) will divorce. they will both become devil worshipers

* 5 more republicans will get caught engaging in homosexual acts. their party will forgive them. all 50 members that are left.

* 10 more democrats will get caught having affairs out of marriage. they will be removed from office.

* the economy will get better, despite itself.

* some form of healthcare bill will become law. pharmaceutical prices will double.

* as the world turns will introduce a transsexual character. holden will have an affair with "her."

* people will begin to drive less. use public transportation more.

* reality shows will go out of style. except a reality show about fetish will become the new hit.. ratings will go thru the roof.

* glen beck will have a nervous breakdown... on the air.

* arnold schwarzenegger and maria shriver will divorce. maria will admit that arnold kept her under lock and key as his sex slave submissive. she will also admit to anorexia.

* hilary clinton will get caught having an affair..... with a republican female.

* sarah palin and husband will divorce. she will say it's gods way of freeing her for a more perfect life.

* totally bored with private life, george bush will go off the wagon. betty ford will not accept him, so laura bush will create the laura bush clinic.

* dick cheney will have another heart attack. he will die this time. no one will notice.



* levi johnston will pose for a gay porn magazine. he will try being gay just for the hell of it, but decide ultimately it's not for him. it hurts too much.

* barbara walters will admit to being in the early stages of Alzheimer's. in a haze she will finally admit she's a closet republican.

* sheri shepherd will try to prove that the world is indeed flat. whoopie goldberg will tell her, (live) to , "shut the fuck up." frustrated, this will cause sheri to gain more weight.

* joy bahar will leave the view because her show is more successful. barbara will refuse to come on as a guest. forgetting that she refused, she will go on as a guest.

* elizabeth hasslebeck will get pregnant again. during her 7 month, her husband will get caught cheating will a non- christian, (muslim!) black woman,

* nobody will remember who britney spears was. (presently 9 year olds do not know who she is).



antebellum
1643 n las palmas ave
hollywood, ca 90028
323 856-0667
www.antebellum.us.ms
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