WELCOME BACK TO LA

PALLEY PENIS!

I’M NOW BACK IN LA….

ON MONDAY- JULY 25TH- 2016-  I LEFT MY APARTMENT @ THE CRACK OF DAWN.

FOR THE FIRST TIME I DECIDED TO USE THE POCKETS ON ME RICK OWENS "GIMP" SANDALS, AND SLID ME KEYS INTO THE BUILT-IN POUCH ON THE RIGHT SIDE.

TOOK THE SUBWAY, THEN THE BUS TO CULVER CITY TO SEE ME YOGI- STEFANOS.
 HE’S A DOLL & SWEET AS PIE.... I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON HIM….

 CUTE AS A BUTTON, HAS THE MOST MESMERIZING EYES AND A STRONG, BUT GENTLE TOUCH.

HE’S STRAIGHT SO THERE’S NO HOPE FOR ME- 

 HOWEVER HE'S VERY GAY FRIENDLY, 
AND IS ALWAYS WARM AND PHYSICAL WITH ME.
WE PRACTICE THE ALEXANDER METHOD. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO IMPROVE THEIR "CARRIAGE."

AFTERWARDS, HAD A VEGGIE BREAKFAST BURRITO @ A NEARBY TACO STAND-
 GOOD, BUT THE MUSIC WAS TOO LOUD FOR SO EARLY IN THE MORNING.

THEN WENT ACROSS THE STREET TO INDIAN SWEETS & SPICES. 

 PURCHASED SOME TURMERIC- (GREAT AS A PREVENTIVE FOR ALZHEIMER'S… RUNS IN ME FAMILY)
4 BOXES OF INCEST- I MEAN INCENSE- ( 99CENTS EACH!),  AND A SMALL CUPPA CHAI- THE BEST INDIAN TEA AROUND- 
UNSWEETEN OF COURSE.

 HOPPED BACK ON THE SUBWAY, GETTING  OFF @ THE SCIENCE MUSEUM/USC STOP. WALKED THRU THE USC CAMPUS AND TOOK SOME PICS.  I LOVE THE ARCHITECTURE IN THE AREA- LATE 1800S- TURN- OF- THE- CENTURY.

THEN WENT TO MY FAVORITE COFFEE HOUSE- 
“NATURES BREW” IN UNION SQUARE.

 AN HISTORICAL/ORIGINAL DISTRICT IN LOS ANGELES.

 I LOVE IT BECAUSE OF ALL THE CUTE, YOUNG STUDENTS. THEY’RE SO SWEET AND HOPEFUL..
LITTLE DO THEY KNOW THEY’RE DOOMED. 

FAR BE IT FOR ME TO BURST THEIR BUBBLES!

 DIDN’T ORDER ANYTHING THIS TIME. JUST A GLASS OF ICE WATER. USED THE RESTROOM TO GLUE MYSELF TOGETHER AFTER THE LONG, HOT WALK. . I DID STEAL A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER-
SO YES, I’M A SMALL TIME KLEPTO. 

I THEN CAUGHT THE #2OO BUS ON HOOVER AVE.

ON THE BUS WAS THIS YOUNG/URBAN BLACK GIRL WITH TWO VERY
CUTE LITTLE GIRLS. BOTH OF THEM HAD BRAIDED HAIR WITH MANY COLORFUL PLASTIC CLIPS ON THE ENDS.

 THEY WERE ADORABLE.... VERY 21ST CENTURY HIP-URBAN DOLLS.

THE YOUNG MOTHER HAD LONG BRAIDS. SHE WAS HIP AS WELL.

IMMEDIATELY SHE EYED MY RICK OWENS "GIMP" BOOTS AND SAID-
“ REALLY LOVE THOSE SHOES! I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE.”

I RESPONDED- “THEY’RE VERY COMFY.. LIKE WEARING LITTLE PILLOWS.” 

(I WANTED TO SAY- DIRTY LITTLE PILLOWS- LIKE THE FILM- CARRIE, 
BUT I HELD ME TONGUE)
“WHERE DID YOU GET THEM?,”  SHE ASKED.

“A FRIEND OF MINE MADE THEM,” I RESPONDED.

“DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GET SOME,?” SHE ASKED.

AT FIRST I COULDN’T HEAR HER OVER THE NOISE OF THE BUS, SO I JUST KEPT TALKING....
“ THEY’RE SO COMFY. I NEVER WANNA TAKE THEM OFF. I WEAR THEM ALMOST EVERY DAY.”

“ARE THEY EXPENSIVE?” SHE ASKED.

“YES! VERY!,”- I DIDN’T HESITATE TO RESPOND.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THEM?’ SHE REPEATED. IS THERE A WEBSITE?” 

“RICKOWENS.EU”- I TOLD HER.

SHE MOVED NEXT TO ME TO MAKE SURE SHE SPELLED CORRECTLY.
HER LITTLE GIRLS ALSO SAT NEXT TO ME AND SORTA SAT IN ME LAP...
THEY WERE SO CUTE!

EVEN THOUGH I KNEW, I ASKED- “ARE THESE YOUR LITTLE GIRLS?”

“YES,” SHE RESPONDED.

“THEY’RE SO CUTE!” I SAID

“THANK YOU,” SHE SAID PROUDLY.

EVEN THOUGH I KNEW, I ASKED, “ARE THEY TWINS?

“YES,” SHE SAID.

I ASKED THE TWINNIE SITTING ON ME LAP. “ARE YOU THE OLDER OR YOUNGER?”

SHE NODDED HER HEAD YES.

“OH!, I EXCLAIMED, SO YOU’RE THE OLDER AND THE YOUNGER?”

SHE NODDED HER HEAD- YES.

BECOMING IMMEDIATELY BOARED WITH ME QUESTIONS, THE YOUNG MUM WENT BACK TO HER SEAT...
THE TWINNIES FOLLOWED.

THE TWINNIES STARTED TO BECOME UNRULY HURLING THEIR DRINKS ONTO THE FLOOR.
LUCKLY THEY WERE SEALED.

I GOT OFF ON WILSHIRE BOULEVARD AND TOOK PICS OF THE FORMER- 
BULLOCKS WILSHIRE.  I MISS HER!

 EVERY YEAR I WOULD GO TO THE BULLOCKS WILSHIRE TEA ROOM FOR ME BIRTHDAY.

I REMEMBER ONE BIRTHDAY,( I BELIEVE IT WAS 1983ISH) MY PARTNER MICHI TOOK ME, AND WE INVITED MY FRIEND- RICHARD/WANDA. 

RICHARD/WANDA WAS INTO ANDROGYNOUS/PRE- CLUB KID ATTIRE, COMPLETE WITH FULL MAKE UP & VEILED HAT.

THE LONGTIME MAITRE D' OF BULLOCKS WILSHIRE TEA ROOM WAS A  FOPPISH GENTLEMAN NAMED ROMEO.

ROMEO WAS RESPLENDENT IN HIS DRESS JACKET, RUFFLED~FRONT SHIRT AND LARGE VELVET BOWTIE.

COMPLETE WITH  POMPADOUR HAIR-DO- LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN  LIBERACE & CESAR ROMERO.

. 

ROMEO GREETED US, “HOW ARE YOU TODAY? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!.

“ROMEO, I SAID, THIS IS MY FRIEND RICHARD/WANDA.”

WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT, ROMEO EXCLAIMED,
 “VANDA! PLEASE TO MEET YOU VANDA!”

THOROUGHLY ENJOYED OUR TEA,  WE WATCHING THE INFORMAL MODELING.
“THIS ENSEMBLE #24 IS AVAILABLE ON FLOOR # 3,” OUR  SENIOR MODEL POLITELY TOLD US.

WE SAID OUR GOODBYES TO ROMEO AS HE ESCORTED US TO THE ELEVATOR. 

UNFORTUNATELY ON OUR WAY DOWN IN THE ELEVATOR WE SHARED IT WITH THIS TURBAN WEARING DOWAGER WHO DID NOT APPROVE OF US, ESPECIALLY RICHARD/WANDA.
SHE  GLARED AT HIM HARD.

SHE THEN TURNED TO MY PARTNER MICHI, THINKING SHE MAY HAVE AN ALLY.

 “ WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS IN THAT GETUP ?"SHE SAID TO MICHI, EXPECTING AGREEMENT.

“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? SAID MICHI. “I BET YOU’RE BALD UNDERNEATH  THAT TURBAN.”

OH HOW I MISS BULLOCKS WILSHIRE TEA ROOM.
I DIGRESS….

 NOW I WALK TO THIS LITTLE PLACE I LIKE GO TO IN KOREATOWN CALLED “DR. ROBBIN.”

IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE HEALTHY, BUT I THINK IT’S JUST A MARKETING PLOY.

I ORDERED A GREEN TEA SMOOTHY WITH ALMOND MILK... VERY REFRESHING.

AFTERWARDS I WALK ACROSS THE STREET TO MY PHYSICAL THERAPIST.

I HAVE TWO MORE SESSIONS LEFT IN THE REHABILITATION OF MY KNEE INJURY LAST FEBRUARY.

YOU CAN READ ALL THE GORY DETAILS  HERE- 

I HAD A NEW THERAPIST TODAY NAMED, UMEKI. HE WAS VERY GOOD. WHEN UMEKI RUBBED MY LEFT THIGH IT HURT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKER! MY INJURY IS ON MY RIGHT SIDE- SO I TEND TO OVER COMPENSATE.

THERE WERE SO MANY “PATIENTS” IN THE GYMNASIUM, WE HAD VERY LITTLE ROOM TO DO ME EXERCISES.

THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE  IN ALL DEGREES OF DISTRESS, FROM WHEELCHAIRS & WALKERS, TO PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO ARE AMBULATORY, BUT REQUIRE A LITTLE THERAPY TO WORK OUT THE “KINKS.”

I SAW THREE CUTIES IN THE WAITING ROOM!… ONE HAD A LEG-BRACE AND WAS VERY GRATEFUL WHEN I REMOVED ME “PURSE” FROM THE SEAT NEXT TO ME SO HE COULD SIT DOWN. 

I LOVE CUTE-HUMBLE HANDICAPPED BOYS!

AFTER ME SESSION I TOOK THE BUS DOWN WILSHIRE TO MY FAVORITE BAR- THE HMS BOUNTY.

I’VE BEEN COMING HERE SINCE THE 70S.

THE HMS BOUNTY IS OLD SCHOOL IN THE BEST WAY… NOTHING HAS CHANGED SINCE 1923!.
THE DRINKS ARE CHEAP AND STRONG. THE FOOD IS BASIC, GOOD BAR FOOD.

NOW THAT IT WAS HAPPY HOUR, I INDULGED IN A WHISKEY SOUR… NOT THE BEST I’VE HAD, BUT IT WAS ONLY $4.50!

THE BEST I’VE HAD SO FAR IS @ COLES DOWNTOWN. THEY USE THE CLASSIC- EGG WHITE FROTH.
BAR MATTACHINE  ALSO DOES A GOOD WHISKEY SOUR, BUT AS A OLDER GAY MAN SOMETIMES I DON’T LIKE TO BE @ GAY BARS THAT ARE “HIPSTER”, BECAUSE THEY’RE DISMISSIVE THINKING YOU’RE A LECH..
IN TRUTH  I’M JUST AN OLD GOTH.

AN OLD SCHOOL LIBERTINE LIVING IN A  NEW SCHOOL CALVINISTIC SOCIETY.

THE MAITRE D’- JAVIER INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO ME.. HE WAS ALSO WEARING AN OVERSIZED  BOWTIE!

I GUESS THIS IS THE DE’ REGULAR WITH MAITRE D’S.

JAVIER TOLD ME HIS FATHER BOUGHT THE BAR BACK IN THE 70S, AND IS NOW RETIRED, SO ESSENTIALLY HE'S THE OWNER!

HE WAS SWEET AS PIE.. WHEN HE BROUGHT MY  DRINK I NOTICED HE WAS LIMPING, 
SO I ASKED HIM ABOUT IT

HE SAID, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS. I’VE BEEN LIMPING FOR A WEEK OR SO. NOT SURE WHY, BUT MY FOOT IS SORE"

“JAVIER," I SAID.. "YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL. THIS COULD BE AN EARLY SIGN OF DIABETES."

“I AM DIABETIC," JAVIER RESPONDED.

“JAVIER, I EXCLAIMED. YOU HAVE TO BE VERY, VERY CAREFUL. THAT HAPPENED TO MY COUSIN WHO IS DIABETIC.. HE ENDED UP HAVING HIS TOES REMOVED!”

“I HAVE A DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT IN SEPTEMBER,” SAID JAVIER.

"SEE HIM SOONER, “ I SAID.

“ I WILL,” SAID JAVIER GRATEFULLY.

JAVIER THANKED ME FOR THE ADVICE AND WE SAID OUR GOODBYES. 
I THEN USED THE HMS BOUNTY RESTROOM LOCATED IN THE GAYLORD APARTMENTS, (BUILT IN 1921!) DIRECTLY NEXT DOOR.
 I LOVE THE GAYLORD.
MANY YEARS AGO I HAD A MASSAGE DATE, WITH A “HAPPY ENDING” @ THE GAYLORD. 

AWWW. MAMMERIES!

I THEN CAUGHT THE BUS ON WILSHIRE BOULEVARD AND TOOK IT TO WESTERN AVE... GETTING OFF THERE TO CATCH THE #207 BUS GOING UP WESTERN.

THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE MOVING SLOWLY. SO  MANY IN WHEELCHAIRS & WALKERS, THAT I COULDN'T GET BY THEM IN TIME AND MISSED MY BUS.. WHATA PICKLE!

I HAD TO WAIT 15 MINUTES FOR THE NEXT BUS.

“SHE”  FINALLY CAME. I BOARDED “HER” WITHOUT INCIDENT AND WAS ON ME WAY.

NOW APPROACHING 7PM,  I GOT OFF ON MY STREET.  I WENT TO RETRIEVE MY KEYS FROM MY RICK OWENS "GIMP" BOOTS, ONLY TO FIND THEY WERE GONE!!

IT TURNS OUT THE SILK USED IN THE CONSTRUCTION OF THE POCKETS IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO SUPPORT A SET OF KEYS.  THROUGHOUT THE DAY, UNBEKNOWNST TO ME, THE KEYS BORE A HOLE IN THE SILK POCKETS AND FELL OUT SOMEWHERE IN THE AREA OF ME HOME-  THE SUBWAY- CULVER CITY- USC- WILSHIRE BOULEVARD- KOREATOWN- THE HMS BOUNTY- OR THE BUS!

I WAS LOCKED OUTTA MY APARTMENT... NO KEY FOR THE FRONT GATE, MY CELL PHONE BATTERY WAS ABOUT TO DIE, AND I HAD TO PISS LIKE A RACEHORSE!

WELCOME BACK TO LA…..

RICK CASTRO- WRITTEN ON JULY 26TH- 2016 @ 11:26AM