FRANK FAY- TEA FOR TWO

"Tea for Two":

""Picture you, upon my knee." (This guy just owns one chair?)

"Just tea for two and two for tea, me for you, and you for me, alone"

So, here's the situation: the guy just has one chair, but enough tea for two, 
so he has two for tea. If anyone else shows up, he shoots 'em!

"Nobody near us, to see us or hear us." 
Who'd want to listen to a couple of people drinking tea?

"We won't have it known, dear, that we own a telephone."

So, this guy's too cheap to get another chair, he has a telephone, 
but won't tell anyone about it!

"Dawn will break, and you'll awake, and start to bake a sugar cake."

Oh, this poor woman's life, I can see it now. Dawn breaks, and she's got to start baking, can't even run a brush through her hair, down in the dark, feeling around for the flour...

"For me to take for all the guys to see."

I can see that! "Hey, guys, I've got something the wife gave me!"

Is it a new tie? Is it a set of tires?

Nahhh- it's a sugar cake! Three layers, with a coconut cream filling!

"Oh, that's just ducky!," they all say, and they crown him with it.