1/1/11
PREDICTIONS FOR 2011
as is the tradition @ ANTEBELLUM BLOG i present you with-
ANTEBELLUM PREDICTIONS FOR 2011-
* GAY IS MAINSTREAM-
we are now in the very last chapter of this country's pathetic attempt to demonize us. the downside is gayS are now as dull as hetros.
* GAYS WILL BE ALLOWED TO MARRY IN NEW YORK & CALIFORNIA,
and perhaps new jersey.
* JOHN TRAVOLTA WILL COME OUT OF THE CLOSET,
or have a nervous breakdown... or both.
* OPRAH WINFREY WILL STAY IN THE CLOSET,
but gayle king will come out.. thus putting oprah in a very awkward situation.
she will ask god for advice, but also consult THE SECRET.
* JULIAN ASSANGE WILL HAVE AN ASSASSINATION ATEMPT MADE ON HIS LIFE.
he will survive and go into hiding in afghanistan, just to be defiant....
one year later he will resurface with the head of osama bin laden.
* BRADLEY MANNING WILL BE FOUND GUILTY OF TREASON.
he will be executed. all the tea parters will go to the execution and dance around like screaming banshees. they will put whiskey in there tea and give high-fives to each other. this will make bradley a martyr, perhaps even a gay martyr. this will begin the new liberal revolution.
gus van saint will make a movie about bradley manning starring zac efron.
* OBAMA WILL MAKE A COMEBACK IN A BIG WAY...
here are a few scenarios- he will repeal DOMA. he will bring in the public option to healthcare.... or- he will beat sarah palin at her game and have his own reality show. the first president to do so.. but not the last. john mccain will furiously announce,
'why didn't i think of that?!"
* SARAH PALIN WILL FINALLY DIVORCE TODD. SHE WILL CLAIM IT IS GOD'S WORK.
todd will make the same claim, but use sarah's name in place of gods.
* SOMEBODY FROM THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION WILL BE CHARGED WITH A CRIME...
i'm not sure who but here's the roster-
CONDOLEZA, CARL, DICK. DONALD, PAUL, GEORGE.
* GOPROUD WILL HAVE A FUNDRAISER WITH ANN COULTER..
( AGAIN )...NOW DUBBED, "THE JUDY GARLAND OF THE GAY-RIGHT."
succumbing to all pressure, ann will take to pills & liquor eventually leading to an untimely demise.
* CHRISTOPHER BROWN WILL THROW HIMSELF ON HER COFFIN SCREAMING-
"SHE WAS THE ONLY WOMAN THAT COULD TURN ME."
* HARRY WHITTINGTON WILL GO BESERK AND SHOW UP AT DICK CHENEY'S DOORSTEP. HE WILL SHOOT A LOADED SHOTGUN AT CHENEY'S FACE AND SAY, "YOU NEVER SAID SORRY.. THIS IS HOW IT FEELS MUTHA FUCKER!"
* JAMES FRANCO WILL BECOME THE NEW JOHNNY DEPP.
johnny depp will become the new george clooney. george clooney will become the new david geffen.
david geffen will become the new bernie madoff.
* GEORGE CLOONEY WILL COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.
this will change the way gay men are perceived in hollywood, ending the discrimination and stigma once and for all.
* NICKI MINAJ WILL BE THE FIRST OUT GAY FEMALE RAPPER.
it will start a trend and, "all the single ladies" will follow suit forming a female rap label called, "BITCHES IN HEAT"
queen latifah, missy elliot, alica keys, and lil kim will be signed.
* LIL KIM WILL END THE FEUD WITH NICKI BY STATING-
" I WAS JUST PISSED BECAUSE SHE LEFT ME FOR THAT YOUNGER BITCH."
* KANYE WEST WILL COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.
he will make a public statement, "JAY-Z HAS A NICE DICK, BUT I LIKE WHITE GUYS."
HAPPY 2011 .... MAY SOMEONE SAVE US FROM OURSELVES.
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