5/29/20

RICK CASTRO: DIARY- 5/27/2020

So This Is How The World Will End: by Rick Castro 5/27/2020


This morning the AAA tow truck hauled away the Christian-cult husband’s snow white car. I don’t even know what make it is… It’s dull and generic, like him.
Not surprisingly, but sad, my sister didn’t come over or text to say good-bye.

A gloom now lays over Bee’s cabin, the land, and my sister’s property. His negative karma has tainted everything. I ask the cute little sparrows that flutter about me, and the grand- jackrabbit that dances near the juniper bush to rid us of his stench.

Since I didn’t get anything done yesterday, waiting all day to have a serious chat with me sister, today I will go to my fave, (and only) deli in the high desert. It’s so bizarre that something so specialized would be out here in the middle of nowhere, but it is here, and I love it. 

As I drive past my sister’s cabin, I see the car is gone, but the gate is still open? This confuses and concerns me. If i’m gonna get over dramatic, I could see myself entering my sister’s cabin and finding her severed head with a bible next to it, but I won’t go there. I wash the thought outta my mind. 
I’m driving down Pearblossom Highway in the beautiful, warm high desert with a tense feeling. My mind is going in all directions; maybe the cult- Christian husband had the car fixed locally and is now with a locksmith to change the locks of Bee’s cabin. All these thoughts go through my head. 


Just before the teeny town of Littlerock, (population-1,300) just after the bend in the highway is Tibor’s Gourmet European Deli. What a gem! They have so many specialized items; veal sausages from Switzerland, Sauerkraut from Bavaria, local homemade walnut rolls, and poppyseed rolls, crisp dill pickles, everything you would never be able to find is here in this little deli, in the middle of the high desert off Pearblossom Highway, just down the road from Bee’s cabin. 

As I park me dad’s hand-me-down 1990, Ford Explorer, and put on my mask, someone approaches me outta nowhere, well somewhere in the middle of nowhere. He’s a tall, scruffy, heshen dude, with a wife-beater tank top and tats. He looks aimless and/or on meth, if it wasn’t for all that he’d be hot, but even I am not that horny. 
 I’m from LA, I’ve been around homeless people and I’ve been around meth heads. They may be lost or sad, but not dangerous. This guy sounds my bad vibe alarm. He tries to say something to me, (I assume asking for $) I ignore him and walk into the deli. The sweet counter girl of Tibor’s Gourmet European Deli warmly greets me. She knows I’m a regular. “Hi!, how are you?, she chipperly asks. “Hay hi, I say, do I need to wear my mask?” “No, it’s ok,” she replies. In some places restrictions have eased up. It’s very hot here and a mask makes it hotter. 

As the sweet deli counter girl helps me, the meth-head wife-beater-tank top heshen saunters in. He has a mask, but wears it under his chin, (you know the type) he comes way closer than six feet social distancing asking me pointless questions. I either nod, or just move to another area, he follows me, the deli is small. Every time I order or inquire about an item he makes a comment and tries to engage. It’s all very uncomfortable. “Can I help you?”, the sweet deli counter girl asks the heshen meth-head wearing a wifebeater. He is thrilled someone is paying attention to him, that was all he needed. Like a vampire now invited in, he goes into full incoherent dialog about sausages. I am now in another living nightmare situation. Two in two days is way too much for my system. 

Unfortunately, the sweet deli-counter girl offers him a free sample. Now he has sat down and moved in! How is it that people have no awareness of obvious red flags. My sorry ass sister has tethered herself not once, but twice to loser men. This sweet but clueless girl is setting herself up for rape.

“Oh wow," the heshen meth-head wearing a wifebeater says to me, "you have dreads, you must be a rock star!” I don’t respond. It takes awhile to complete my order and I stretch it out longer, hoping the guy will get bored and leave, but no luck. He's now over in the corner doing who knows what. The sweet deli counter girl hands me my bag and thanks me. I lean in very close and whisper, “are you on your own here?” “Yes,”she says back to me. “Would you like me to hang around?, I ask. She looks at me and looks at the heshen meth-head wearing a wife beater. Startled she says, “He's not with you?” “No, I say.” Finally she gets it… “Oh, yes please could you?”

I go to the shelfs and act like I’m looking for something. “How can I help you sir?”  the sweet deli-counter girl asks the heshen meth-head wearing wife-beater. “He goes on about everything, demanding responses. She politely answers, no matter how stupid. She looks over at me concerned. After a while I walk out, hoping he will follow me out. He doesn’t. I go back in to find him right up against the counter lifting his wife-beater acting like he’s at a pick up bar. He is not happy that I’m back. The sweet counter girl says, “Oh he just came back to wait for his ride."  After a long uncomfortable while, the meth-head-wifebeater wearer says, “what’s in the back?” “Oh just a patio and the restroom, she cluelessly says. “Can I use it?,” the meth-head asks. “Sure, “ says the sweet- but dumb-deli counter girl. She has just sealed her, (our) fate. Like my pathetic sister she has invited a dangerous person to stay. 

The heshen meth-head walks into the patio. I say to the sweet deli girl, “Contact your boss immediately and tell him the situation here. Tibor’s deli is a gem, but it’s very remote. “ We’re supposed to always act like there a co-worker in the back, but I forgot, she feebly says.” “You know he’s doing drugs in your restroom," I say. “Yah probably, she says. As she’s texting I say, "tell your boss he needs to send someone over right now. That guy is sketchy, your employer should not be putting you at risk.” The sweet, but clueless deli girl is texted like lighting. “How far away is he, I ask, I have to go, but if you would feel better I’ll stay.” “I’ll be ok, she says. I leave, but stay in the car in the deli parking lot a little longer. When I do leave I get such an uncomfortable vibe, I pull over and look up the phone # online. I call and it’s an outdated number. This vibe stays with me as I head back to Bee’s cabin, which after the cult-Christian altercation feels less like a safe haven and more like another tainted land, overthrown and conquered by bullies who are really cowards. I’ve never clearly stated this before, but the Christian- cult new husband who thinks everything belongs to him, is white. There I said it. Unfortunately it’s an important factor.

The minute I get back to Bee’s cabin I reach for the menu I have for Tibor’s Gourmet European Deli, I dial the number, (this one is correct). “Hello, Tibors deli may I help you?” I recognize the sweet deli girl’s voice. “Hallo, I’m the customer who was there a little while ago… I wanted to make sure everything was ok.” “What is your name?, she asks. “Rick,” I say. “Rick, thank you so much for looking out for me. I thank you and my boss who is now here thanks you. I’ve never had someone have so much concern for my well being. ” She is beaming through the phone with gratitude. “I immediately got a bad vibe from that guy,” I say. “Yeah, he stayed around asking questions to prolong the stay, he did steal a bottled water, but so what.“ she tells me. “Ok, yah I knew once he got to that restroom he’d do drugs," I say. “ “My boss is changing the hours so there will always be two people at all times, and once again, thank you so much. They are very few people that would have as much concern and awareness as you. That just doesn’t happen.”

I thank her and hang up, feeling somewhat pleased with myself that I know when to listen to my inner-voices and know how to read people. I saved the sweet deli girl. I wish I could somehow save my Invasion of the Body Snatcher Pod person that is now my sister, and I wish I could save myself.

So this is how the world will end.
copyright- rick castro- 5/2020



please donate to Rick Castro: It’s the right thing to do- here or -here-


5/28/20

RICK CASTRO: DIARY- 5/26/2020

So This Is How The World Will End: by Rick Castro 5/26/2020


As you can imagine, I was traumatized to no end after the altercation with this nightmare next door. I spent the day processing what had happened and assessing how to deal with someone like that; a self-entitled male Karen, used to getting what they want no matter what. Thinking they have god on their side, thus justified.

The Christian-cult new husband has tainted everything. Bee’s cabin now looks weathered and stressed. The land looks dry and lifeless. A total stranger just told me to my face that my childhood home was no longer mine, but his. Merely because he forced his way into a marriage with my grieving hapless sister when she was most vulnerable after the death of her first, (equally awful) husband of sixty years.

I immediately sent a text to my sister- I don’t even know what you think of me at this point, but your husband is not well. I will give you a ride home. Your home… he’s dangerous.  

She didn’t respond.

I had a stress filled sleepless night. I kept feeling like I was having a heart-attack. This stressed me out even more. The closest hospital is Victorville, another meth capital. I have a very rational fear of Victorville. The only good thing about Victorville is it’s the hometown of LaKeith Stanfield, but he was smart enough to high-tailed it outta there and make it big in Hollywood.




The next morning I calmed myself the best I could, made myself a nice cuppa tea, took Yasuke, (my Siamese Fighting fish) out with me on the patio and contemplated.
The local bunny, (the same one that comes out every morning and sits under the Juniper tree) sat down and watched me. I need your help, I whispered to her. Help me. They want to destroy our habitat. 

After a while I sent a text to my sister- You need to come over and have a conversation with me. If your worried about contracting something, we can chat thru the window. My test was negative.
After a while she texted back- Rick I’ll text you when I’ll be over a little later. 

Three hours later and not hearing from her, I text-  When are you coming over?

She responds 40 minutes later- We’re cleaning the cabin right now, so if you need to go do something let me know when you’re back.

An hour later I text her- I’m back. (even though I didn’t go anywhere).
A half hour later she texted- Okay I’m coming. I’ll stay outside. 
I originally texted her at 10am, she didn’t come over till 5pm.

Suzy, (not her real name) comes by and sits in the patio of Bee’s cabin. This is the first time I’ve seen her in person this year. She looks worn and tired, some of this because of life during the plague. Her hair is no longer dyed, (I think she gave herself a bad dye job) and her face looks weary. I certainly am not at my best. This plague has taken a toll on all of us. None of us are spring chickens! I’m gonna be sixty-two in July. Suzy will be 77 in August, we’ve been through allot. We chat through the heavy screen door.

I’m not gonna go into specific details here,.. even for a diary it’s too personal. The gist of the conversation was me warning her about where this will all lead. To stop seeing him through rose-colored glasses. There is no way he’s only gone-off like that once. She claims he gets mad, but swears he has never hit her. I tell her it’s only a matter of time. She makes excuses for him and apologies for his behavior claiming they’re going to counseling. I tell her he has absolutely no right to disrespect me the way he did. To talk to me that way, and to talk to her that way. “He treats you like his property,” I say.
 She listens, takes it all in, and then responds with something she thinks I would want to hear. My sister never states her opinions. She only says whatever she thinks the other person wants to hear. I tell her, “I am your brother, and I’m worried for your safety. He went off on me because he didn’t get his way. His self-entitlement allows him to expect he can have whatever he wants. When you start disagreeing with him, it will get bad, and when it does, know that you can contact me at any time and I will be there. I am your brother, please listen to what I’m telling you.” She thanks me and promises that she will. Unfortunately I don’t believe her.

After all this she tells me the tree cutting, (of my father's fifty year old tree) has been rescheduled for a couple weeks, and “they” will be putting in a sensor light at Bee’s cabin. Even the victims in my family are control freaks.

As I’m writing this AAA has pulled up looking for my sister’s cabin. It seems Toby’s, (not his real name) car broke down yesterday, 
(the one we landed on during the scuffle) and they will have to tow it all the way home. Karma, be thy name!
So THIS is how the world will end.


copyright- rick castro- 5/2020



please donate to Rick Castro: It’s the right thing to do- here or -here-



5/27/20