TEATIME~ 4/14/2012~ joining me were my neighbor~ nick trikos 
& my longtime friend~ ellen glasier.
today i had gooseberry pie, (from dupars) & earl grey tea with silver tips.

snow white can make gooseberry pie~ hooray! @ 3:14
photos courtesy~ nicholas trikos & rick castro


this is what's running thru my mind~ right now~ this second....



photo courtesy~ phil mcgrew


hard to believe this is happening in modern times... leave it to christians...


“A way of life can be shared among individuals of different 
age, status, and social activity. It can yield intense relations not 
resembling those that are institutionalized. Itseems to me that (male friendship as)
 a way of life can yield a culture and an ethics. 
To be “gay,” I think, is not to identify with the psychological traits
 and the visible masks of the homosexual
 but to try to define and develop a way of life.” 

Michel Foucault, ‘Friendship as a Way of Life’, 1981.

We seek friends and brothers here, not fans, customers or enemies; 
nor is not the best place to look for fashion statements or the hippest parties. 
 If any of the above rings true for you, come into the enchanting dark light of 
our capacious closet and let’s plot sexy revolution, plan perverse adventures
 and talk about pornographic ideas. Keep up with us on the site. 
Contend, submit, unite and join!

  1. most esteem manly friendship within “a brotherhood of lovers”, a different kind of love among men. Within our circles, we honor courage, loyalty, intelligence, knowledge, wisdom, passion, skill and decency. So bound, we become men in our own eccentric ways.

are unreservedly pro-sex. We are men who are shamelessly man-loving sluts;
 we are unrepentant, joyous and filthy perverts. 
We revile the pathetic currency in sex-panic and its deleterious and 
pervasive affect on our getting laid.
trust implicitly in our daemon, that guiding set of affinities,
 tendencies and sensibilities, to deliver us to higher ground; 
not to mention lead us to the good sex, food, parties, bars and people. 

reposts courtesy~ homo online




model~ etienne zerah~ photo~ courtesy~ etienne escobar~ berlin/antebellum correspondent


repost courtesy~ homo online




I noticed recently how little time we have for joyful thinking. By that I mean the simple ability to just daydream, bliss out, and savor the fun of a meandering mind. We spend so much time doing-doing-doing that it’s easy to fill life up with one task after another, non stop, never having the moment to actually “not-do.”
After all, if we spend our entire lives jumping from one task and chore and project to another, never embracing the space between these “doings,” then what’s the point. How can we ever enjoy the fruits of our labors if we don’t just stop? Perhaps we actually avoid this thinking process because it’s painful to confront our thoughts. Our natural tendencies are to seek pleasure and avoid pain, so if we fill our lives with constant doing, then perhaps by default active not-doing is painful?Choosing Change
So much of life is about being productive. 

 I’m waiting for the tool that has us just stop it all, turn it all off, and go deep inside. Wait a minute, that tool already exists. It’s called motivated self direction. It’s the free download we’ve all got in place already. It’s the tool of choice. We can choose to turn it all off and go inside anytime.
I took a poll among some friends, and it turns out that except for showering and sleeping, most people spend all day every day doing stuff. Many people even admitted to checking email while sitting on the toilet! How many of you leave your phones on, and are willing to take calls, send Tweets, read texts, and check email, all while having lunch with a friend?
Be honest. It’s non-stop and we desperately need a change. These negative spaces are so very important because it is only in them that we can bathe in the presence of our lives. In these spaces we can deeply reflect on our experiences and relationships and hopes, and dreams. In these spaces we experience the pleasurable and non pleasurable experiences of life, and learn from ourselves. Negative spaces make life worth living. They nourish. They teach. And, as vitalized and informed humans, we can re-enter the world creating positive vibrations around us, positively influencing others, and making the world a better place. Isn’t that the point of it all?

8 Steps for Creating Negative Space
  1. Start small. Starting out, it’s easier to experience negative space if you block out large chunks of time, like whole vacations, or days, or consecutive hours. But if you just don’t have the time, then start by listening for negative spaces in music, the pause between the playing. Most music has it. Also, if you really don’t have the time, then wake up a little bit earlier one day, and just sit there for a few minutes, and see what happens. Just try it. Right now. Even if only for 20 seconds! Don’t wait for the weekend or vacation (after all, they may never come). Block out that time, and try it this very moment. As you get better in understanding and feeling negative space, it’s easy to insert into little windows throughout the day. In the hallway at work. Before you pick up a phone call. After you send an email. During lunch. Anytime!
  2. Go somewhere different. Mix things up a little for an inspiring session by going to a different part of your home, work, or town. Go park your car in a part of town you’ve never been to. It’s inspiring to be somewhere where you don’t have the usual issues and baggage bothering you.
  3. No interruptions. You don’t want to have to make excuses to interrupt the experience. Satisfy your body with the basics. Go to the bathroom, eat something light, bring something to drink, perhaps lightly caffeinated (not so much to make you anxious or jittery). Be sure to dress so that you will be comfortable – not too hot or cold.
  4. Have a pen and paper handy for inspirations.
  5. Embrace true silence. No radio, No people (until you become practiced and are good enough to do this with others). Cell phone is obviously turned off. No computer.
  6. Sit and Think. Let it flow. Don’t meditate. Try not to sleep (but if you’re tired, sure, rest up).
  7. Relax. Just go with it. Drift. Journey inside. Don’t get caught up on anything. There’s no right way to do it. Savor it. 
reposting courtesy~ samovar~ san francisco/antebellum correspondent


TENDERLOIN, the new art rock band of Dagmar Hofpfisterei, Felix Knoke,
Jan Klesse and Joel Gibb, are going to have their first performance on
April 21, at the Camp/Anticamp festival in Berlin. The festival which
takes place from April 19 - 21 at the HAU2, also features many other
celebrities, among them Warhol superstar Holly Woodlawn.

"Even a lackluster performance by Tenderloin would be amazing." 
- Glen Meadmore
"that's his endorsement?"~ Rick Castro

posting & photos courtesy jan klesse~ bremen/antebellum correspondent


i spent monday afternoon with antebellum artist~ eddie jelinet.
 we met downtown and milled around till our hearts content. hung out pool side @ the figueroa hotel... we then  caught the blue line for tea in little tokyo..
eddie had the phoenix bird oolong, (my recommendation) with pistachio croisssant
and i had keenum quimen black with a chocolate cookie.... it was very special!

photos courtesy~ eddie jelinet~ antebellum artist & long beach/antebellum correspondent


Knock on wood refers to the apotropaic tradition in western folklore of literally touching/knocking on wood, or merely stating that you are, in order to avoid
 "tempting fate" after making a favourable observation, a boast, or speaking of one's
 own death.
  • In some countries, such as Spain, it is traditional to literally touch wood after an event occurs that is considered to bring bad luck, such as crossing paths with a black cat or walking under a ladder or noticing it's Friday the 13th. This is usually done when there's no salt nearby to spill over your shoulder, which is considered the "traditional" way of avoiding the bad luck caused by those situations.
  • In Italy, "tocca ferro" (touch iron) is used, especially after seeing a undertaker or something related to death.
In old English folklore, "knocking on wood" also referred to when people spoke of secrets - 
they went into the isolated woods to talk privately and "knocked" on the trees when they were talking to hide their communication from evil spirits who would be unable to hear when they knocked.


this is a photo of my grand~mum taken in the early 1900s. 
she was in her teens. these wall plaques were created by 
photo studios of that era when one commissioned a portrait. they were made of tin with the photographic image and designs sealed under an enamel finish.
 the cracks around the plaque are age. the scratches and burn marks on my grand~mum's face were intentionally done by my grandfather.
i never knew my grand~mum. she was gone long before i was born.
  i only know the bits & pieces i could pry from my dad over the years.... 53 to be exact.
 here is all i know about my grandmother~
she died in the mid~nineteen~twenties. she lived in colton, ca and later chavez ravine, los angeles. 
she was a flapper. she liked to drink.. she was a party girl. she never married my dad's father... he was abusive.... she had many boyfriends.... she was "loose"..... she was a bootlegger..... she wasn't a good mother, but she loved my father... she abandoned him..... she would go on binges..... she was arrested for public intoxication.... she was in numerous car wrecks..... one time she was driving with a boyfriend and the car went into a ravine and rolled over...
 they survived.... my father was in the back seat. he was about 6 years old.....
 he sat on the side of the road for hours crying..... my grand mum & her boyfriend were so drunk,
 they laid there for hours.... my dad left the scene of the accident and walked home....
when my dad was about 7 years old he remembered my grand-mum not coming home for a few days & nights..... when she finally did, he heard allot of ruckus and commotion..... my dad froze in fear when he saw her...... she was beaten, bruised, bloodied, and her dress was torn.....  
she walked by him and went to bed.......
  my grand-mum was taken to a "sanatorium" in chinatown..... 
she died of "consumption" a week later..... 


photos courtesy~ rv onze~ paris/antebellum correspondent