richard aka ding-dong... apparently he lives somewhere in emeryville, ca. and has a twin!



for 2010

antebellum predicts

* marijuana will become legal. it will be taxed higher than cigarettes.

* oprah will come out of the closet, and/or run for office.

* gayle king will have an affair with steadman

* gay marriage will become legal in kansas. the state will use the phrase- "freinds of Dorothy," as their new tagline.

* rachel maddow will have a sex change. no one will notice.

* chasity bono will change back to a woman. no one will notice.

* ellen will have a sex change. it will boost her ratings

* lady gaga will have an S&M affair with a woman. she will film it and use the footage for her next #1 single.

* spidey, (heidi & spencer) will divorce. they will both become devil worshipers

* 5 more republicans will get caught engaging in homosexual acts. their party will forgive them. all 50 members that are left.

* 10 more democrats will get caught having affairs out of marriage. they will be removed from office.

* the economy will get better, despite itself.

* some form of healthcare bill will become law. pharmaceutical prices will double.

* as the world turns will introduce a transsexual character. holden will have an affair with "her."

* people will begin to drive less. use public transportation more.

* reality shows will go out of style. except a reality show about fetish will become the new hit.. ratings will go thru the roof.

* glen beck will have a nervous breakdown... on the air.

* arnold schwarzenegger and maria shriver will divorce. maria will admit that arnold kept her under lock and key as his sex slave submissive. she will also admit to anorexia.

* hilary clinton will get caught having an affair..... with a republican female.

* sarah palin and husband will divorce. she will say it's gods way of freeing her for a more perfect life.

* totally bored with private life, george bush will go off the wagon. betty ford will not accept him, so laura bush will create the laura bush clinic.

* dick cheney will have another heart attack. he will die this time. no one will notice.

* levi johnston will pose for a gay porn magazine. he will try being gay just for the hell of it, but decide ultimately it's not for him. it hurts too much.

* barbara walters will admit to being in the early stages of Alzheimer's. in a haze she will finally admit she's a closet republican.

* sheri shepherd will try to prove that the world is indeed flat. whoopie goldberg will tell her, (live) to , "shut the fuck up." frustrated, this will cause sheri to gain more weight.

* joy bahar will leave the view because her show is more successful. barbara will refuse to come on as a guest. forgetting that she refused, she will go on as a guest.

* elizabeth hasslebeck will get pregnant again. during her 7 month, her husband will get caught cheating will a non- christian, (muslim!) black woman,

* nobody will remember who britney spears was. (presently 9 year olds do not know who she is).

1643 n las palmas ave
hollywood, ca 90028
323 856-0667




well here i am all ready to go on my little train trip to albq, new mexico!

i took the red line one block from my home to union station and i'm now on the southwest chief @ amtrak ready to depart.... and we're off!

well i can't say i recommend coach seating, (except for the low price) very uncomfortable, too many peoples and children!

windslow- AZ- train station

trying to sleep with a group of old guys snoring, babies crying and an annoying women who keeps calling her BF and telling him EVERY boring detail of her trip! "hi honey, I'm in the fourth car from the dinning car. we just pasted barstow, i'm going to blow in your ear." finally @ around 11pm i had to politely tell her, " excuse me lady, could you go downstairs or something."

besides the physical discomforts, the visuals are amazing.. dark images of desert that you can barley make out so you have to image what the landscape might look like. lonely little towns with opulent train stations from more glamours past times. quiet little homes and trailers. all little gems.



waiting for the dining car to open.... so hungry i could eat a horse. finally opens @ 6:30am. i have breakfast with a lady named bernadette, she is from north carolina, and coinkadinkally she was staying with her sister in los feliz! what are the chances. breakfast wasn't bad, considering.

gallup- new mexico


watching the sunrise and the scenery is spectacular! ohmygod the sun against the snow covered desert of arizona is breathtaking.. it's so simple, so subtle, no one would ever travel out here just to experience this.. but it is fantastic. it is the subtle change that deepak chopra keeping taking about like a mantra in his book- healing the body & soul.. i'm reading this book.. yes i'm metaphysical.


i arrive at the train station in albuquerque, new mexico! my final destination. raymond's- BF tim is supposed to pick me up, but my train is early and he is not here. so i decide to walk to gertrude zachary: a fine antique shop run by eccentric biddy- gertrude zachary. the last time i was in albuquerque she was not open. according to raymond, she is rarely open. well guess what? she is not open this time either.

albuquerque, new mexico- train station- my final destination!

gertrude zachary- fine antiques

tim pulls into the empty parking lot and away we go! tim is a bundle of hyperactive energy. or as he puts it, "obviously i'm more robust than elvis presley, but not in a corpulent manner."


tim drives briskly as i take-in the sites & sounds of albq NM, one of my fave places. i used to come here on a regular basis back in the 80s when i used to collaborate with art photographer joel-peter witkin. between LA & albq i helped put together 13 of joel's most famous images, including leda & the swan, (with the goddess bunny as model).

that was then, this is now- we stop off for tea @ bassass coffee.. tim says the coffee is good, (i don't drink coffee) the tea was fine, but do not order the scones! dry as a bone. they gave me my money back. albquerqueans are very accommodating.

we stop by and pick up matt. one of raymond's friends..... not my favorite person, but he'll do in a pinch. matt is a reborn republican from alta dena, california. apparently his grandfather or someone had money once upon a time, (hence the republican stance) now he is just plain ol white trash. looks kinda like the guy from married with children, likes to think he looks like edward norton. people in albq can also be somewhat delusional.

we drive up to jemez springs- HEAVEN ON EARTH! what a beauty of a gem of a gorgeous little hamlet. pass by all my favorite places- the bath house, (built in 1906 for john dillenger) jemez mountain B&B, (i wave to peter the owner) los ojos bar, (listed as one of the top 10 bars in america by esquire magazine!) the Buddhist retreat and meditation center, (natural hots springs!) and then raymond's house!!. i plod thru snow and there is raymond, busy @ work in his little workshop. what a magical soul he is. just sitting there in his little sanctuary. just like the TV series- everybody loves raymond.

i always wonder if he realizes what a fantastic area he inhabitants. most people always want what they don't have, so perhaps he longs for the big city lights.

now settled in at raymond's place, luanna & peter, (from the jemez mountain B&B) stop by. they are wearing santa hats & xmas lights around there bodies. they are a sweet couple.

later that night- raymond, tim, matt and i spend what i think was the best new years eve of all. sitting by the fire, chattin, drinking green tea,
( that i brought from tenren), sipping makers mark whiskey, listening to tim recite quotes from nietzsche, and watching the dvd of i am legend on my laptop, ( my friend rick owens did will smith's costumes.... btw will smith is gay... so is jada pikett) .
the new years moon is a blue moon. very rare will not happening again for a long time. it is good luck. a very good omen for 2010.

This New Year's Eve, there will be a blue moon in the sky. No, not literally blue; the term "blue moon" actually refers to when there are two full moons in a given calendar month, an astronomical rarity that occurs just seven times every 19 years, hence the famous phrase "once in a blue moon."

What's more, this New Year's Eve, people living in the Far East will see a lunar eclipse, making this an even rarer...er rarity. A blue-moon eclipse only happens once roughly every 15 to 20 years.

i am so happy! i love life.- HIPPY-PAPPY-HAPPY NEW YEAR.


slept like a little baby boy in raymond's workshop, now my crib. tim & mat jabbered almost all night long, about who knows what... their chatter became my white noise. i wake up to the view of morning sunlit snow of raymond's front yard. a frozen stream and snow covered hills called the cat meza.

i get up around 7am.. tim is still up reading from 20 different books @ one time. 5 of them about nietzsche, one is about schopenhauer, also the canterbury tales, leviathan, blink and mein kampf, (?). well 19 out of 20 'ant that bad.

spent the entire day will tim & matt, chatting, watching movies and going online. relaxing and fun. oh also in attendance are raymond's 3 huskie dogs- kia, azula & chauegha.



this is a list of my favorite films for LITTLE JOE, an upcoming online magazine about film & homos-

since childhood, film has played an important role in my life- as a means to escape, finding hidden life lessons, exploring the world, without leaving my living room and, in a way, as an alchemist partnering with their oracle. I take my favorite films seriously and VERY personal. Each one resonated with me and somehow changed my life. You will note that most are not contemporary films. I’ve discovered the impact of a story revealed for the first time, has more resonance when you are young. As I get older, it's harder to believe in the make-believe. A hard thing to admit, but true.
however, I do experience new ideas and sensations each time I view the following films.


(1948) written, directed and produced by Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger. It tells the story of a young ballerina who joins an established ballet company and becomes the lead dancer in a new ballet called The Red Shoes, based on the story by Hans Christian Andersen about a woman who cannot stop dancing. The film stars Moira Shearer, Anton Walbrook and Marius Goring and features renowned dancers from the ballet world. It has original music by Brian Easdale and cinematography by Jack Cardiff, and is well regarded for its creative use of Technicolor.

And that's what drew me into this film, the color. rich and vibrant it makes you feel like you're watching a color film for the first time. the red shoes is so hypnotic, i will drop whatever i'm doing and watch this film from start to finish whenever it screens. the crux of the story- choosing art over love is timeless, classic and devastating. cinematic moment- so many, but the shot of moria shearer dressed in an opulent evening gown, ascending a decayed staircase in the afternoon sun of southern france is breathtaking. an exact replica of Eaux d'Artifice by kenneth anger. i'm not sure who influenced whom.


1975, written and directed by Pier Paolo Pasolini, based on the book The 120 Days of Sodom by the Marquis de Sade.

Hands down, the best movie ever made. I can't think of any film that has challenged and changed the face of cinema as salo, and pasolini as a filmmaker. Way ahead of its time, the cinematography, art direction and costumes are so perfect; it plays almost like a fashion advert. The beauty and sexuality lures you in, then, once it has you, whams you over the head with a mallet. like being wined, dined, then raped!

it has been written that pasolini planned his life around his films, salo; being the final chapter- death. He was mysteriously murdered before the film premiered in 1975.

I once met a guy during a photography class, (circa 1987) and thought i would show him salo-my favorite film- on our first "date." as the film started, he was in the process of going down on me, then saw what was unfolding on screen, he stopped in mid stroke. he remained frozen for the entirety of the film. as the credits rolled he proclaimed, " that is the sickest film i have ever seen in my life." the date was over, there was no second date.
SALO separates the men from the boys.


2005, directed by Ang Lee adapted from a short story by Annie Proulx , depicts the complex romantic and sexual relationship between two men in the American West from 1963 to 1983. The film stars Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. a modern day classic, like a gay gone with the wind, (or gayer gone with the wind), sweeping and epic as a love story. the relationship of the two men unfolds like nature, slow and subtle, then, like the full moon, intoxicates.

Groundbreaking in so many ways. this film will only get better with age. the untimely death of heath ledger will guarantee this as a historical film in years to come, his passing almost apropos.

when i first saw this film i hated it and didn't know what all the fuss was about. i left the theater angry and thought about it all night long. I never had a film leave me with a feeling of anger. I went back the next day and viewed it again, this time by myself.
as a woman a few seats in front of me sobbed, I realized what was so upsetting on the first viewing. the film was too honest in it's portrayal of love, it leaves you empty.


1968, written and directed by Roman Polanski, based on the 1967 novel of the same name by Ira Levin. stars mia farrow, john cassavettes, ruth gordon, and great cameo from pasty kelly.

A perfect film, and perfect adaptation from the novel by ira levin, (he also wrote the stepford wives). This rarely happens, in fact is usually the disappointment of a great book to film. Examples- Anne rice, interview with a vampire, JG Ballard, crash. However with this novel to film adaptation, every frame is engaging and has you spellbound from the opening credits with the grand view of the Dakota building, (where john Lennon was to be murdered 12 years later), to the eerie closing shot of rosemary rocking her devil baby as she looks out the window. Once again at the Dakota. The acting is pitch perfect from farrow's naive, docile housewife, cassavette's narcissistic actor/husband, to Ruth Gordon’s nosey neighbor, and pasty Kelly’s cameo as a naggy,witch who likes to knit. The theme song, (sung by mia farrow), so haunting, it will stay with you forever.


(1945), directed by Michael Curtiz, based upon the 1941 novel Mildred Pierce by James M. Cain, starring Joan Crawford, Ann Blyth, Jack Carson, Zachary Scott, and Eve Arden in a noir-ish tale about a sacrificing mother and her ungrateful daughter.

A classic film noir to end all film noirs. over the top drama that could only be delivered by Joan Crawford. Her personality so intense she literally twitches off the screen. When martyred mother Mildred played by Joan Crawford finally slaps insufferable spoiled Vida, played by Ann Blyth, its like she reaches out and slaps the audience. With a superb supporting cast of Eve Arden, Jack Carson, and Lee Patrick as Mrs. beiderhof, character acting doesn't get better than this. The novel by James m Cain so excellent and way ahead of it's time. Toned down a bit for the screen it still delivers none-the-less. Each scene beautifully shot in moody black & white by cinematographer Ernest haller, who also worked on gone with the wind. Tom Cruise is like the modern day Joan Crawford, matching in neurosis, except lacking her talent.


1971, directed by Stanley Kubrick from adaptation of a 1962 novel of the same name, by Anthony Burgess.

A Clockwork Orange was supposed to be a look into a futurist dystopain society featuring disturbing, violent imagery to facilitate social commentary on psychiatry, youth gangs, and other topics. Unfortunately kurbrick & burgess were right on the mark and their vision came true within 10 years! The tone and look of this movie so completely sets the viewer into the society that was so frightening, that by the time we reacted its was common place, in face our current society is even more severe than the future they're warning us about. Our complicity and glib awareness of the world around us has plunged us even further into the everyday acts of ultra-violence.

Stars Malcolm McDowell as the charismatic and psychopathic and yes, sexy delinquent Alex DeLarge. The film features a soundtrack comprising mostly classical music selections and Moog synthesizer compositions by Wendy Carlos. Carlos, one of the first composers to use the moog synthesizer, started production as a man- Walter Carlos, and had a sex-changed operation while the film was in post. It has been said that Stanley Kubrick was so busy he didn't notice.


1976, directed by Roman Polanski based upon the 1964 novel Le locataire chimérique by Roland Topor.

excellent casting of isabelle adjani, melvin douglas, and shelly winters as the concierge. Set in Paris in the mid-seventies, this film has atmosphere and claustrophobia embedded as one. Polanski directs and stars in this film about paranoia and, (in a sense) reverse- agoraphobia as only he can. The character so afraid of his surroundings and neighbors that he retreats further and further into himself. The final double leap suicide almost drains the viewer of their essence.


1973, directed by William freidkin, adapted from the 1971 novel of the same name by William Peter Blatty. The film features Ellen Burstyn, Linda Blair, Max von Sydow, Kitty Winn, Lee J. Cobb, Jason Miller and Mercedes McCambridge.

A perfect film from start to finish. The story and intensity building with each scene. Way ahead of it's time, and an immediate blockbuster phenomenon. The first mainstream film to question faith, and the film mainstream film to capitalize and give momentum for the now ubiquitous splatter films. I remember ditching class with my friend's Eric & Carla. We hot-wired his mother's car, (we were underage, no licenses) and drove to Westwood, waited in a line for hours that snaked down Westwood blvd. the lady in front of us told the ticket taker that she was our guardian so we could get in. (at the time was rated- R), and I sat in the dark room as this flick changed my 15 year old life. I had never seen a film that questioned faith so intensely. Still has all the impact and packs a wallop 35 years later.


1996, directed & written by Bruce LaBruce and Rick Castro, staring kevin p. scott, graham david smith, ron athey, glen meadmore, kevin kramer, ivar johnson, and my muse and discovery Tony Ward.

Perhaps it’s egocentric of me to list my own film in my favorite list, but I approach my conclusion based on the fact that every time I view this film I see something different. Sure the production of this film was hard, since we had no budget to speak of, but at the same time, it was one of the most creatively exhilarating periods of my life. Going on 12 years since the release, I can now look back at the film and observe it, as it’s own entity. Tony Ward is still a pleasure to watch. I hadn't seen someone with that much screen lust appeal since Joe Dallesandro.

Much has been written and misunderstood about Hustler White, so let me say for the record, it was our intention to create a film that was both a parody and homage to underground filmmaking, homosexual subculture and classic Hollywood cinema. Images & one liners are peppered throughout this film with subtle or direct references to Sunset Boulevard, Whatever Happen to Baby Jane, The Killing of Sister George, Death in Venice, Rosemary’s Baby, Flesh, and Hollywood Babylon. Hustler White transposes the action from the silver screen's old movie back lots to pre-internet male prostitution, porn industry and Santa Monica Boulevard- the boulevard of lost dreams and broken promises.
BTW- all still photography on HW, including movie posters ect were taken by me......and.... the 67 mercury cougar that monty, (tony) steals is mine!.... i still drive it to this day.


1999, directed by Roman Polanski, based on the novel The Club Dumas by Arturo Pérez-Reverte. Stars Johnny Depp, Emmanuelle singer and Frank Langella.

The critics universally panned this film, but for me it is a very special and watch-able film. The cinematography and locations of the film present the best of gothic Europe, almost making the viewer want to move there immediately to search for the missing novels themselves. heavy on atmosphere and beautiful. Although somewhat wooden, Johnny Depp never looked sexier, and Emmanuelle Seigner, (polanski's wife) is a great depiction of a modern day Lucifer.


1962, directed by Stanley Kubrick based on the classic novel of the same title by Vladimir Nabokov. The film stars James Mason. Sue Lyon, Shelley Winters and Peter Sellers.

Due to the MPAA's restrictions at the time, the film toned down the more perverse aspects of the novel, sometimes leaving much to the audience's imagination. The actress who played Lolita, Sue Lyon, was fourteen at the time of filming. Kubrick later commented that, had he realized how severe the censorship limitations were going to be, he probably never would have made the film.

I love this film because of the challenge it gave to the censors. no easy feat in 1962. Spot on writing by Nabokov, perfect directing by Kubrick and pitch perfect acting by James mason, Sue Lyon, and Shelly Winters.


(1948), directed by Alfred Hitchcock, based on the play Rope by Patrick Hamilton. Notable for its single location, edited so as to appear as a single continuous shot, taking place in real time. The film was which was said to be inspired by the real-life murder of a young boy in 1924 by two University of Chicago students named Leopold and Loeb.

The film also presents a gay male couple, rare for that period, but typical to make them tragic murderers. Philip Morgan played by Farley Granger and Brandon Shaw, played by John Dall. Both actors were gay in their private lives, which brings credibility to their portrayal as a couple. What’s most interesting to note is how subtle their interactions had to be in order to pass the censors at the time.


1977, directed by John Waters starring Liz Renay, Edith Massey, Mink Stole, Jean Hill, Mary Vivian Pearce, and Susan Lowe.

My personal favorite of John Waters now classic films. Hilarious from start to finish. I must confession this film changed my life; being the first black comedy I had ever seen. I was stoned at the time so that also helped. The costumes and sets are sheer brilliance by Van Smith. The acting, (or non-acting performances) absolutely amazing by Edith Massey, Liz Reny, Mink Stole, Susan Lowe and Jean Hill. My only regret is that divine was not part of this film, bit then it would've been an entirely different film. The direction and production of this gem vaults John Waters into the genius category as far as I'm concerned.


1974 , written and directed by Rainer Werner Fassbinder, starring Rainer Werner Fassbinder himself and Peter Chatel, Karlheinz Böhm, Rudolf Lenz, Karl Schedyt, Hans Zander and Kurt Raab. Frantz, a.k.a. Fox (Rainer Werner Fassbinder), a working-class young man, meets a bourgeois homosexual and mingles with that milieu after winning the lottery.

I find this film compelling because of the accurately depressing depiction of one man's total betrayal and usage of another's naivety. it's sobering enough when sexy Eugene, (peter chatel) fools homely fox, ( well acted by fassbinder himself) and cheats him out of every penny, but when his family become involved, I find the unrelenting truth of this film a hard, sad pill to swallow, as does fox.


1972, directed by Paul Morrissey and produced by Andy Warhol, it starred Joe Dallesandro, Sylvia Miles and Andrea Feldman.

the film was conceived by Warhol as a parody of Sunset Boulevard. In a way it works better than the original in that, nobody really faces the truth, the is no redemption or condemnation. No morality. They just go about their business as real life does. Interesting tidbit, New York magazine film critic Judith Christ wrote, "the most memorable performance- in a large part non-performance- comes from the late Andrea Feldman as the flat-voiced, freaked-out daughter, a mess of psychotic confusion, infantile and heart-breaking." On August 8th, 1972, three weeks before the opening of Heat, Andrea Feldman invited some of her closes friends, including poet Jim Carroll, to her apartment on 5th Ave & 12th, claiming to present her final performance. With her small group watching she pranced across the apartment floor. Holding a can of Coca-Cola in one hand and a rosary on the other, she leaped out the window of her 15 story apartment. Her final bow.


1950, Directed and co-written by Billy Wilder, it was named after the famous boulevard of the same name that runs through Los Angeles and Beverly Hills.

It stars William Holden as down-on-his-luck screenwriter Joe Gillis, and Gloria Swanson as Norma Desmond, a faded movie star and femme fatale who entraps the unsuspecting Gillis into her fantasy world in which she dreams of making a triumphant return to the screen. Erich von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark, Lloyd Gough and Jack Webb play supporting roles. Director Cecil B. DeMille and gossip columnist Hedda Hopper play themselves, and the film includes cameo appearances by leading silent film figures Buster Keaton, H. B. Warner and Anna Q. Nilsson.

The grand dame of them all. The quintessential film about Hollywood. A timeless story, yet postmodern at the same time, (recommend viewing Sunset Blvd, followed by Heat. what a COMBO!)

Billy Wilder juxtaposes faded Hollywood with contemporary Hollywood of 1950 so perfectly, it's difficult to know who is a real star, who is a cameo,who is a hero, and who is tragic. In a sense the mood of the film is so downbeat, everyone comes off looking like a loser to hollywood, which presents itself as an unrelenting soul eating bitch. Nothing had changed. This story is told on a daily bases, except in modern times, the turnaround is quicker.

Little sidebar, all the "waxworks," at the card game scene were stars of the silent era, including Buster Kenton, HB Warner and Anna Nilsson. William Haines, (the first openly gay film star) was asked to be part of this scene, but declined. Smart move?


the castro family post-xmas tea party was very special this year. besides my parents, sister, brother, nephew & niece, we were joined by my dear friend buck,( from hawaii) and his british mum!

castro family & friends

me & my daddy

special thanks to chado tearoom for hosting our salon.



remember the jimmy stewart classic- "it's a wonderful life"?
you too can have a wonderful life in 2010- MOVE YOUR MONEY!
Transfer Your Money From Big Banks To Community Banks- NOW!


the one and only Joe Dallesandro in the porn classic- The Sailor 1966.


ODESSA, DIONESS, FIORE, FIORUCCI, STAR-GLITTER, STERLING AKA LURINDA NICKERSON, was my first roomie, best friend, GF, (sorta) and all time soul-mate & accomplice in my first dive into all thing hollywood, nightlife, punk rock- coming-of-age events.
i first met odessa way back in 1976- when i was 18 years old @ judy's gear for guys in century city, ca. we became roommates and for awhile lovers,(!). it was a confusing time, a time for allot of exploration and diving head first into what life in hollywood had to offer.
odessa moved to london sometime in the 80s, got married and had a kid. we reconnected the first time i was in london with my first film hustler white @ the ICA during 1996.
we then spent the week together with her son tyrian, (then 5 years old) and her husband, (they are since divorced)

thanks to the internets- myspace etc we have finally reconnected. after 14 years i have found odessa!!!

here are pics of odessa over the years

odessa- circa- 2008

i took this pic- circa- 1987.

odessa in london- circa- 1990

odessa in london- circa 1990

odessa and her son tyrian- circa 2000.

tyrian - today- 2009

odessa's design logo

one of odessa's dolls.



peter murphy & trent reznor do a great remake of joy division's - atmosphere-circa 1980.


cradle of filth formed in 1991. here is the video for- "her ghost in the fog- 2000.


with all this vampire craze i thought it would be good to go back and look @ the classic VAMPYR.
the classics are always the best.